you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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