I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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