I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
