I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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