it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
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