he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
