You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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