yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I should be sponsored by Trojan
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
