she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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