If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
should my penis look like a turkey
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
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