I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
