you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
What did we do last night that was yellow?
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
