Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize