I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I could fuck to npr.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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