You're my little dorito
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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