I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
