You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
try to milk me bitch
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