Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
