yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize