We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
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