Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
it was like eating out sand paper
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Randomize