do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
You left your underwear on the fireplace
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
