ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
