Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
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