My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Randomize
