Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
