reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
