i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
