dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Randomize
