p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
