her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
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