I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
