im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Randomize
