She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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