So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
