I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I love you.
Bad choice
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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