mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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