I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
