Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
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