We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
