he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
