he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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