i don't like sucking hair
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
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