I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Randomize
