Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
