Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
