Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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