i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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