I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
