Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Barsexuality is the new black.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
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