i already hear my dad disowning me
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
