I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
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