I wannas sexs uuuuu
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
