I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
