i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
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