I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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