I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
