i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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