I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
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