You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I touched a dick in church today
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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