we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
