This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
