just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Acid is not a monday night drug
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
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