You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Four minutes until I can fart!
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
