It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize