There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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